Civil War Books and Authors: Review - "A Family and Nation under Fire: The Civi...

Civil War Books and Authors: Review - "A Family and Nation under Fire: The Civi...: [ A Family and Nation under Fire: The Civil War Letters and Journals of William and Joseph Medill edited by Georgiann Baldino ( Kent State ...

Civil War Books and Authors: Booknotes: A Family and Nation under Fire

Civil War Books and Authors: Booknotes: A Family and Nation under Fire: New Arrival : • A Family and Nation under Fire: The Civil War Letters and Journals of William and Joseph Medill edited by Georgiann Baldin...

Civil War Rx: Dr. Mary Edwards Walker, First (And Only) Female MOH Recipient

Civil War Rx: Dr. Mary Edwards Walker, First (And Only) Female MOH Recipient

What's in a word?

Timing is important. It takes time to adjust to a major upset, such as being diagnosed with cancer. At some point, the frenzy starts to calm down. After some decisions are made, things will gradually fall into a routine. While I was undergoing chemotherapy, I did not write in a journal. However, I did write an article for The Breast Cancer Book of Strength and Courage. The first version I submitted was a rambling account that the editor rejected, and rightfully so. But rewriting it helped me put my experience into a coherent story that made sense to me, and to Judie Fertig Panneton, the long-suffering editor who compiled the anthology. I didn’t realize it at the time but I stayed with the problem until I achieved insight.

I wrote an account about shopping for a wig and losing my hair to chemotherapy. The woman who fitted my wig sent me away with more than new hair. She included a new attitude free of charge. She referred to the hair piece as "your new hair," adamantly refusing to call it a wig. Her careful description taught me a valuable lesson—the words we use to describe life’s obstacles makes them impossible or easier to overcome.

Then, when I looked in the mirror—whether I saw a redhead or bald dome—I was reminded of her kindness. The words I've used and written since then have helped keep me healthy, body and mind. It's an amazing thing to learn, that I can write about upheavals and make them better.

My goal is personal insight

Sometimes we get so far away from being healthy that we need help to recover. Doctors, nurses and counselors are there to help us to regain a state of balance. Their job is to evaluate the problems and provide the assistance of modern medicine; the patient’s job is to be a valuable partner in the healthcare team.

Life doesn’t usually hand out gift-wrapped sets of solutions; it brings up dilemmas that we are at a loss to solve. My own period of illness forced me to take the time to figure out what living a healthy lifestyle means to me. I needed quiet time away from the pressures of modern life to unravel that issue in ways that are personally meaningful. Sessions of 20 minutes using pencil and paper produced profound results. Defining obstacles and problems on paper had a way of making them less intimidating. Writing took some of the pressure off.

I don’t write every day because I don’t find a daily journal worthwhile. I write every month in the journaling support group when, along with the others in the session, I spend 20 to 30 minutes responding to a specific writing prompt. What I write during these group sessions often amazes me. I am the one who develops the sessions. Each month I spend several hours putting a program together, but when I sit down with the others, reactions come out of nowhere. I have learned to trust where the writing takes me and, as a result, things bubble up from below the surface. My first approach doesn’t always reflect what’s really bothering me, or what I need to pay attention to. My first instinct does not always provide the best solution. If the words don’t flow, I keep writing the same sentence over or start making a list. After a few minutes of doing this, the real issue pops up and the healing begins.

In between monthly sessions, if something keeps me awake at night I hold a private, impromptu session. The approach is simple. My ritual is one of place and mental image. I have a journaling chair that looks out on the backyard. The only time I sit in this particular chair is when I journal. It’s been around for about 25 years and is not particularly comfortable. It makes a good, middle-of-the-night place to sit, not somewhere to relax. Using the same place helps get at what’s keeping me awake. Once I put the problem on paper, it’s like I’ve written a prescription for a sleeping pill. I find it easier to rest.

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Private or Public?

It's an amazing difference, public versus private writing. Have you noticed? Public writing is all about attention, getting some that is. Of late, public writers have to be good at grabbing attention and they must capture us quickly, in less that 140 characters. Profundity must be fast, clean, hip.

But it's the private brand of writing that is more profound. Private writing is always excellent. It cannot be poorly written. Whatever is defined, for one person and one person only, is always worthwhile. If you doubt this, take the time to write for your own self. If you do, you can be open and honest. There is no one to judge. Except you, of course, and you will love what you write unconditionally.

Invasion of privacy--above and beyond

Anyone who picks up The Private Writings of the "Saint of Calcutta" has to wonder how Mother Teresa would view becoming a hot topic ten years after her death. The 2007 book was edited and published by the priest who is serving as postulator of the Cause of Beatification and Canonization of Mother Teresa of Calcutta. The reason given for the publication is to show the "depth and intensity of her holiness."

But many of the passages are from letters sent to her spiritual advisers and, while they are not protected as private under the sacred right of confession, she constantly begged her spiritual directors to destroy the correspondence. The letters show her confusion, pain, and sense of desolation, and many were written at the suggestion of her superiors. It is understandable why she not want her deepest thoughts known. And why she would expect repeated requests to be honored.

The purpose of the book is to show the mystical nature of her faith and devotion to service. When I started to post this blog, I was going to quote some of these dark passages. However, reading them again I decided that her wish for privacy should be respected.

Let your light shine

One of the best human traits is the longing for fulfillment. We aspire to achieve. We strive to reach new heights. This allows us to change the world. But this longing is troublesome when fear or doubts interfere with our yearnings. Life experience may have taught that it's better to play safe. Habitual thoughts, fear, or conflict can keep us in the shadows.

So how can we move into the light? The answer is different for each individual, but a great way to start is through creative expression. A fresh, authentic approach is needed. For artists, creativity may be inborn. The rest of us can learn how to tap into the source of creativity. Any of the arts can help, but in this blog we concentrate on writing.

Expressive writing has many benefits. Journals and diaries can remain private, so there is no need to worry about letting go and making a full, honest disclosure. The ideas are fixed on paper or other storage media, making them visible as long as we want. We can go back to them later. See what we expressed when it was especially meaningful to do so. We can see patterns and progress. If necessary, we can take the inner thoughts to a trusted counselor to get help with the process of discovery and wellbeing. Writing is a great way to face and then understand problems, so we can discover way to move forward -- into the light.

Anonymous Author

I don’t know who the author was; I don’t really want to. It seems appropriate that the author of “The Devil Invents Breast Cancer” remains anonymous.

I was looking through the notebooks I put together for the therapeutic support group at the local cancer center and came across the essay that another patient handed to me. It is impossible to pass the page containing this essay without stopping to reread it.

The writer, a breast cancer patient, wrote a creative essay about a meeting she envisioned taking place between the Devil and his demons. In it, Satan and his subordinates plotted ways to make modern women aware of the Devil’s existence—the solution they devised was breast cancer. They gleefully approved all the physical assaults that accompany aggressive treatment. Many professional authors would envy this writer; perhaps she is a professional writer. The irony of her work comes from a sophisticated, yet resigned awareness. She contrasts what happens with what should be. The pathos is controlled. The moral of the story builds without sentimentality. The author points out women lose control of their bodies; their hair falls out; they are unable to do things for their families. But the Devil fails when bonds with loved ones are strengthened, and the love they value most increases.

The author deserves accolades for creating this moving essay. But that was not the point. The point was personal healing. And writing privately then sharing with only a select few accomplishes everything the author set out to do.

Dear Cancer

Lately I've read a number of letters written to you, many of them angry. I also corresponded with an ad agency person who thought he might put up a website that collected 'dear cancer' letters. Personally, I think that sort of letter is better kept private. Not that posting the details of illness or anger are a problem; people do it all the time. But emotional writing done privately has been shown to be more therapeutic. Coming to terms one-on-one is the real goal. If someone writes for publication, are they being completely open and honest in the disclosure? It has to be hard, nearly impossible, to ignore what others will think. How others might react. The writer inevitably has to write with readers in mind.

Having cancer demands a new level of openness. The real disclosing happens between the disease and the survivor. Learning to overcome the notion 'I have cancer' is something that takes place between mind, body, and spirit, not over the Internet. Not on posts. Not in blogs. It happens like handwritten letters used to, slowly, through a concerted effort.

Come with me, Cancer. You and I have a few things to discuss....

Bring Forth What is Within You

The Gospel of Thomas, from the Nag Hammadi Library, advises us to access the spirit within. Saying number 70 tell us:

"When you bring forth that which is within yourselves, this that you have shall save you. If you do not have that within yourselves, this which you do not have within you will kill you." (English translation by Ecumenical Coptic Project.)

Another translation by Thomas O. Lambdin: "That which you have will save you if you bring it forth from yourselves. That which you do not have within you will kill you if you do not have it within you."

The original work, the translations and commentaries are meant to be taken in a spiritual sense. They teach that salvation is within us. What religion does not recognize a divine presence within humankind? And what religion doesn't bring forth what's inside? None of them would exist if members didn't express the joy and redemption in prayer, song, and the written word.

But let's take saying number 70 one step further. Let's connect our spiritual sides with the emotional and the physical. Expressing -- or bringing forth -- what is within us can also save us emotionally and physically. What we resist persists, but giving the inner being a means to express itself is associated with healing and quality of life. And what life is meaningful without defining and expressing its worth by speaking, singing, and writing?

Pick up a pen or pencil and write a list of five traits you have that make life worth living. Embrace these facets of your personality by defining them. Writing down their meaning reinforces their value and makes them a larger part of your life experience.

The Journaling Buzz

Millions of blogs fight for readership. Thousands of writers create new ones every day. Not here. I don’t know how many hits my blog gets and don’t care. The purpose I have is not to make my writing stand out. My real audience is only one person. Yep, where I journal it’s all about me. The rest of the world’s bloggers have a daunting task, but I don’t strive to stand out in the crowd. My goal in writing is to stand away from the crowd. To write for myself. In fact, privacy is so important that the real writing takes place in a secluded spot, gets entered into a book, and then tucked away in a special place. When some problem keeps me awake at night or worries me in ways that interfere with more important things, I hash out the difficulty on the page. I use an archaic implement — a pen. By defining the problem, I deal with it. By putting it down on paper without outside influences or goals, the real purpose is served. I rest easier and find the energy to go out and create, not a buzz, but a real life.

Flexible and Healthy

I recently discovered The Resiliency Center, directed by Al Siebert, PhD. His website shows the results of his research, and he tells us that "life's best survivors value being flexible, resilient, and adaptable above any other quality."

It's not easy to be flexible. But Dr. Siebert tells us that is healthy to not to be rigid. He recommends that we cultivate paradoxical traits. To me, his advice translates into replacing the conjunction "but" with "and."

The power of and means uniting desirable traits normally viewed as separate. It means making connections no one else is making. For example, it requires us to see where suffering and joy intersect. (A life designed to maximize joy is much different from one that is meant to minimize pain.) If we think about it for a while, the two experiences often come together. Hopefully with joy as the second outcome.

Here are some other contradictions that are related in ways not immediately apparent:

• Poor and Wealthy
• Demanding and Caring
• Committed and Flexible
• Idealistic and Practical
• Passionate and Prudent
• Emotional and Rational
• Being and Doing
• Success and Fulfillment
• Individual and Inclusive
• Rigorous and Fun
• Transformed and Grounded
• Physical and Spiritual
• Chronically Ill and Well

Dr. Siebert reveals that "Paradoxical traits are, at the psychological level, like the opposing muscles in your body that contract and extend. Your ability to control how you move and react comes from being at the choice point between counter-balanced forces." His instructions to people who want to cultivate flexibility is to write a list "of all the ways in which you are both one way and the opposite. The more the pairs of opposites the better. Validate opposing qualities. Tell yourself, for example, ‘It is all right to be both optimistic and pessimistic.’”

To that I would add that the process of looking for ways to be flexible and defining them in ways that are personally meaningful are a healthy step everyone should take.

Write an Affirmation

Affirmations can help change beliefs that have persisted for a long time. Writing an affirmation reinforces it. Repeating it to oneself can build and improve positive qualities. Affirmations function like cruise control on a car. Whether we’re up or down emotionally, an affirmation can move us forward.

Affirmations are stated in the presence tense, even if the statement is not yet true. To say “I will” puts a goal off to an undetermined time in the future. The present tense is more effective.

Here are some examples:

• I am worthy of the good things in life.
  
• I attract warm and loving people into my life.
• I am filled with joy and laughter.
• I am lovable.

Affirmations have many uses and come in as many forms as people have needs and desires. When used daily, they help keep thoughts positive and build qualities we wish to have. Take a few moments to write down three affirmations you could use in your life. Keep them simple. Whatever keeps you going in the right direction toward a goal is valid. Use them to counteract doubts.

Check out the Secret secrets

Last night I watched the Secret DVD. I would have to rate it five out of five stars for pacing, punch and plot. I won’t give away that plot however, because the lure of the DVD is that the world’s most influential people have known and used the secret for centuries. People who are interested should check out their website. http://www.thesecret.tv/home.html Any group with the confidence to advertise a new era for mankind deserves a few minutes, or hours or days of time.

I especially like the emphasis they give to writing down a list of “gratitude” and “thankful for.” Many people have been saying for many years that each of us is the author of our destiny, but few have said it so well.

I Prefer to Be—

One study about expressive writing randomly assigned participants to four different groups. People wrote 20 minutes a day for four days about:

1. a non-emotional control topic
2. a life trauma
3. their best possible future selves
4. both a trauma (the first two days) and their best possible future (the last two days.)

For the best possible self assignment, people were instructed to think about their futures as the realization of all their life dreams. At the end of the study researchers found that writing about one’s best possible self was associated with a significant increase in positive mood. Individuals who wrote about their best possible selves were also significantly higher in psychological wellbeing three weeks after the study was completed. Five months afterward, the best possible self group had the lowest number of visits to the doctor. Even the trauma only group and the combination group had significantly lower health visits than the control group.

So I tried it. What I wish for myself is potent and seductive. Taken seriously, the blend between wishing and reality begins to blur. The preferred self plans a bright future.

Then the skeptical part of the brain objects. “Wishing is not enough. A fervent desire of the heart cannot change one’s circumstance.”

But it can. And it does. Writing down one’s fervent hopes helps them to become part of a life experience. Hope is more concrete—just look at the page. Defining desire in words makes it easier to act upon.

Excuse me. I’ve got to go now. Got to write down what I want and then find ways to make it come true.

Serenity

The magic of my first books helped get me started down the journaling path. Magical moments came early in life when Uncle Red sat down with my older sister and me for story time when we were just toddlers. I don’t recall what books he read, but the impression was deep and lasting. Then when I learned to read for myself any place in the world became part of my life experience.

Whatever people remember about their first books, they are powerful pathways, not just to learning but to our emotional lives. Stories help us adjust to bad times, get past them. Find some benefit. This process is even more powerful when we write our own stories. The process of finding the language to define experience stirs the senses and affects us in positive ways. Journaling has application in many aspects of life—from romance to health. Writing one’s life history even helps to understand our feelings about money and why we make the financial choices we do. Consider the blogs shown at:

http://womensfinancialserenity.blogspot.com/

Fond Memories
This week I received the invitation to a high school reunion. I’m not going to be able to attend, and I’m sorry that I’m not. The people on the committee have gone to a great deal of trouble and have given some thought to ways to span the years and bring classmates back together. One of the things they did was send around questionnaires that asked us to recall fond high school memories. How cool is that? Writing about the good experiences is a wonderful way to peel back the years. Writing the answer gave me something to laugh about.

I filled out my questionnaire by saying: In second year Latin class, Jennifer had a difficult time translating Cesar out loud. (Didn’t we all?) Miss Brown [the teacher] did not offer to help; she just let Jennifer struggle. Jennifer hemmed and hawed but didn’t know the right verb. Finally she ended the torture and blurted out something like, “…and the soldiers rose from the dead!”

Miss Brown expelled a blast of air, bit her lip, but then started to giggle. Once started, she couldn’t stop. She listed to the side and almost fell off her chair from laughing. The picture of Miss Brown rumbling with laughter, tilted thirty-degrees starboard has stayed with me all these years. (Other than that, did anyone ever see Miss Brown smile?)

It was fun to write, even better to recall those carefree times. Before I opened the questionnaire, the day had seemed frustrating. Afterward, I felt better. I remembered Jennifer’s confusion as part of the common humanity that connects us all.

Morning consitutional

This morning the sky overhead was totally clear, and; the full moon was totally cool. My morning walk took me out the door at 6:12 a.m. when the moon was still full in the west and the eastern horizon was just starting to blush. Choosing which way to turn was a difficult decision. I could howl at the moon or watch the sky put on a morning coat. At one point near a park I stopped and turned back and forth, west to east and east to west. Moon Sun. Sun Moon. It was hard to start walking again and much easier to wait for the universe to make the first move.

Dear Temporal Lobes:

I recently read that writing lights up the temporal lobes of the brain, and that the physiology involved in the processes of defining thought and putting it down in writing uses different areas of brain than those employed for speech and listening. The article went on to say that the temporal lobes seem to have more direct connections with the emotional centers of the brain. The inference was that writing allows one to access emotion in ways that are different, and in some ways or in some instances, superior to talking.

So—good morning, Temporal Lobes. What are you feeling today? Do the next moments, hours and days seem hopeful? The rest of the mind needs to get involved soon. There are many calls to make and people to persuade. But for now, let’s spend a quiet time together, seeing what might burble up from below. (Pause) Yes, I see. The problems are great, but, you’re right. The power to imagine is also the power to solve. Creativity and writing are the ways forward. Thanks again. We’ll get together again soon.

Best wishes, Georgiann